“You mean you got on the last plane out before the revolution?” I said.
“No! The revolution already started a few hours before we left. People were gathering at the president’s palace. I think they closed the road to the airport just after we got there. I know for sure that the road to Otavalo was closed.”
“Wow. Close call.”
“Yeah, I know! Other groups are planning to go to the Galápagos, but I don’t think they can go now.”
“Jeez.”
“Yeah.”
“I know, right?”
“Yeah.”
A fiery end in true South American revolutionary fashion. How can you go down there and not witness at least one revolution? Other than that first bit of explosive information, I really didn’t get much more from Maureen about her trip to the Galápagos. She went with a group of high school students on her first solo foray into the wilds of the world. I would’ve appreciated a bit more in the way of stories, but nothing was forthcoming.
“Turtle Porn” on the Galápagos Islands
She did tell me about the turtle porn they witnessed within minutes of arriving at the sanctuary on Santa Cruz Island. The leader of the pack, a high school math teacher, came up with this classy, educational phrase. Nice. Apparently, it was unusual for the turtles to cavort in such a lusty manner, and the students were “lucky” to catch them getting frisky. A male tortoise tiptoed over to an unsuspecting female hardtop and proceeded to have his way with the tiny turtle (in comparison with him). “Oh! She can’t escape. She won’t make it!” The guide cried out. He made it sound like the female tortoise was about to be sexually assaulted.
And I’m thinkin’ these are elderly turtles. They are both probably over 100 years old. I am sure there is nothing to worry about as far as “assault” goes. They are both consenting adults, and if not consenting adults, then two consenting senior amphibians who have gone through this before and who are ENGAGING IN THE EVOLUTION OF THEIR SPECIES FOR GOD’S SAKE.
Photo byCedric Fox from Unsplash
So calm down people, get a grip, and remember why you are on the Galápagos Islands in the first place. Why is it such a draw? Who wrote the book? What was the theory? Has anybody cracked open a book lately? Turtle porn…
Strange looking llama…and it’s in 3D. Must be a hologram.
Buenos Aires, Argentina, Airport
We were at the domestic terminal waiting for a flight to Resistencia. Whereas before we had remained coastal on our trips to South America, we were going inland this time. We as in Alex, Maureen, Moi, and Ms. Kesha DeSheilds. Ms. DeSheilds is ATA World Sparring Champion for 2015 and Moe’s instructor. We were headed down to Argentina for the Pan-American tournament that takes place every fall somewhere in South America.
Resistance Wasn’t Futile
It’s cool that the name of this city is “Resistance”. The native population fought back so hard against the Spanish Conquistadors that they actually named the town that. I would be proud to be one of them because they never gave up. Are there other cities in the world actually named after the inhabitants’ own chutzpah? This city is the capital of Chaco Province.
Resistencia sits on the Paraná River on the eastern edge of the Chaco Province in Argentina. As of 2021, it is the poorest province in Argentina. Chaco means ‘hunting ground’ in Quecha. The Paraná River flows for 3,032 miles south. It is the second-longest river in South America after the Amazon.
They didn’t want to be told how to live or what to believe. They had their own ideas about the world and their place in it. And finally, they were nomads who hunted and fished. This was due to the harsh growing conditions. In fact, Jesuit priests in the 1500s understood this and didn’t press the issue. For example, the Qom did not grow and pick cotton because of the lousy growing conditions. Finally, the Qom were corralled into the dry part of Chaco. In that hot, arid country they could not go on. People started to live in Resistencia full-time in 1865. We also visited Corrientes across the river.
‘The Honorary Consul’ by Graham Greene took place in Corrientes. He said it was his favorite book to write. He said that Corrientes was fine if you did not spend the night there.
Useful travel tip: If you’re in a hurry, it only takes 4 minutes to microwave your underwear until it’s dry. Why would you be doing this? Because your luggage with all of your clothes, all of your personal items and diary, and an extra pair of shoes went on a Caribbean cruise. In other words, they lost my bag. I never saw it or its contents again, but they told me it got on a cruise. The airline eventually reimbursed me for everything that I lost. But let’s just say it was a serious handicap landing in Fortaleza with only the clothes on my back.
My new wardrobe. Yes, that’s right, brown and white Bermuda shorts with a black t-shirt that has bright, yellow bunches of bananas everywhere.
In the evening, I walked back to my hotel along the beach. When I got back to my room, I saw Wayne’s old underwear neatly folded on my pillow. I didn’t even know what it was at first. I’ve never seen anything like that before. I guess he felt sorry for me and sent his underwear over to my hotel. No, thank you, my friend. It’s true I’m desperate, but I’m not that desperate. It was nice of the maid to fold them neatly on my pillow.
Fortaleza’s beautiful beach with fishing boats at dusk
Herman Melville has a point. Lima is a depressing city. The gloom never leaves it. The sky is forever gray. Not once, the whole time we were there, did the sun come out. The dust, the smoke, and car exhaust all contribute to this. They call it ‘La Garua’, a thick sea mist. Add to this the fact that it is the second driest capital city in the world; dust coats everything. Lima is perched on a cliff on the Pacific Ocean and is home to 10 million people.
Lima Slum
On the first day in Lima, we went to the slum and I didn’t take my camera. I left the camera behind. I thought it was bad enough we were going to see people in dire conditions, and I wanted to respect their privacy. And yet, most of the money I paid for the tour went to the two families that we visited. I arranged this tour with Viator.
Our guide and driver picked us up at the hotel. The drive to the slum in Lima took about an hour because of the traffic. The whole city is one big congested knot of cars. But! Between those cars and on the sidewalks are dogs. Lots of ’em. In fact, we started to count them. We got to 350 and stopped counting. Our guide turned around and asked us what we were doing. We told him that we don’t have dogs running around like this at home. He smiled. It might not come as a surprise, but there were no small dogs.
Perros Limeones (Lima Dogs)
“Peruvian Men Are No Good”
The car dropped us off and left. The slum stretches along a huge hillside. We started to climb up a path. It was mid-morning and I didn’t see many people around. I found out later that most of the slum dwellers work and go to school in the city, then return home at night. Both of the homes we visited consisted of a mother and her children. Our guide, a Peruvian man, explained that Peruvian men are no good. He said they don’t take care of their families. Poverty is very hard on people and women are tougher when it comes to keeping the family together. Or, maybe, Peruvian men are just no damn good for anything or anyone.
The first woman lived in a home under a large slab of rock. The rock was dark gray. I felt at ease the moment I walked in because the rock was solid. It was protection. The ceiling was 10 feet high, more than enough for comfort. She lived in a cave. I thought it was pretty cool but there was no door, not even a possibility for one. She must cover the wide entrance with something, but I didn’t see anything.
When we walked in, she was standing behind a long narrow table covered with handmade crafts. I was not aware that there would be articles for sale on this tour. If I had known, I would’ve brought more cash with me. I never walk around with cash in a foreign country or wear jewelry. Our guide translated for us. I bought a necklace made from large purple and black seeds from the Amazon jungle.
The Second Home
We continued to walk farther up the hill. Donavin started to throw rocks on some corrugated metal sheets. I told him to stop because he was throwing stones on someone’s roof. The metal sheets were level with our feet because we were climbing a hill. This surprised him. It took him a moment to understand that those pieces of metal could be someone’s roof.
The second home was different because it had four walls, a roof, and a door. Although, the sky was visible through cracks where the walls and roof did not meet. This meant that there were flies everywhere. An elderly woman was sitting on the steps outside. We smiled at each other as I passed. Inside, we sat down at a big table and were served lunch.
It was chicken and rice with a purple, sweet drink made out of corn. The drink was very refreshing. Did you know that there are more than 55 varieties of corn in Peru? And they come in purple, white, orange, blue and black. The potato is also a Peruvian discovery. On the shores of Lake Titicaca 10,000 years ago, the humble potato made its debut into Incan society. There are over 4,000 varieties.
Wow
Living in the Lima Barrio
Moe, Donavin, and I were the only people eating. Even though the hostess, our guide, and two of her children also sat at the table. She told her story and as I listened my first thought was security. How do you raise a family here? I asked her about this. She explained that the police do not come into the slum. One man preserves law and order. The community votes for him. And if they don’t like him, they vote him out. She said that it was safe to live there and that people leave each other alone.
I asked if she owned this home. She said she did. The property consists of the dwelling only. There is no yard. She explained that you need to prove that the house is yours to own it. You can only get electricity if you prove the house is yours. There is no running water. Each family has two blue barrels one meter high and half a meter wide. They can fill them up with water once a week.
Before we left, everyone sang Happy Birthday, in Spanish, to Donavin. It was his 13th birthday.
After School Hang Out
On our way down the hill, we stopped at a small building that was a meeting place for children after school. We talked with a young lady who worked there. She spoke excellent English. She said that many parents work long shifts and are unable to be there when the children get home. This is a safe place where they can play with other children while waiting for their parents. Unfortunately, we were too early to meet any of the kids.
“Punta del Este is the only place in the world where I can go out without a bodyguard.”
Heiress Athina Onassis
Arriving in Punta del Este, Uruguay
It’s definitely a plus not to need a bodyguard, but it isn’t why we went to Punta del Este. Although, it is a testament to how safe the town is. Maureen is State Sparring Champion two years in a row. She missed three years in a row by one point. And she went down to Punta to beat the pantaloons off little girls her own age. It took nine hours and forty-five minutes to Buenos Aires from Atlanta. Our connecting flight to Montevideo was late because there were not enough people to take it. While waiting, we watched the martial artists in action.
