Last night, we had two bags of chips and a bottle of water for dinner in our Smoky Mountain retreat. That’s why Maureen looks so disgruntled. She’s hungry. I’m pretty sure she’s not the only hungry animal in these woods. Thank God for vending machines. We got here late.
I took highway 140 instead of taking the I40 through Knoxville. For future reference, anybody, highway 140 just ends in a field. It doesn’t even bother to join up with another highway. There you are at sunset, wondering what happened to the road. Where did it go? Right after that, I ended up in somebody’s long driveway on a hill. I called the hotel. The guy on the phone was trying to be helpful and patient. I could tell. I could also tell that if I kept on driving, I would eventually end up…somewhere.
Redneck Riviera in the Smoky Mountains
We made it to Pigeon. It’s not that difficult. We got there right before nightfall. It’s a cute place with lots of stuff to do. They call Pigeon Forge and Gatlinburg “The Redneck Riviera”. They are only 5 miles apart. There is a road connecting them that runs through the forest. Hmm…drive-thru only $79.99. That’s a good deal. They should have drive-thru divorce services for the same price (for those in need of such services).
Smoky Mountain Sharks
Pardon me? Satisfaction guaranteed or your money back? Excuse me, sir, these so-called sharks of yours did not satisfy me. I expected far larger and way more ferocious sharks in the Smoky Mountains. I would like my money back, please.
Puckers Sports Bar & Grill
So let me get this straight. No bulls are allowed to relieve themselves in the restaurant. That’s hygienic. I’m all for that. The image is a tad unappetizing, though. The lips are right beside the hindquarters. I would say it’s a poor executive decision to put that in the window of a restaurant. But what do I know?
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